I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
