please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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