Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
