i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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