Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize