Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
