She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Randomize
