You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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