I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize