Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
