she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.