Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
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I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.