just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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