it wasn't lemon gatorade
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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