i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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