and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
