I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Randomize
