the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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