are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
