You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
