Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
he just fucked me for my cheese..
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