Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
