piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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