i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
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I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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