You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
