I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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