I hope my margaritas pass through security.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
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I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
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I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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