I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
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