i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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