i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
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where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
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I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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