I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize
