I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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