I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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