Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize
