I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
