i just google imaged poop.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Randomize
