He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize