Just fell off a train. Bad.
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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