did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
