ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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