Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
i will never coherently bang her
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
