Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Randomize