found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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