Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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