Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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