I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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