Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
