Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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