Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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