just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
You have to summon your inner elephant
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
