you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
