there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize