My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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