It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Randomize
