well you can't waste a boner
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
NoShamevember. You game?
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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