dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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