When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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