I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
