So drunk its hurt
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
