have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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